Sometimes I wonder what it is I want of life. There are times when I have a vivid, clear picture of the beautiful and fulfilling life that lies ahead of me and there are other times when I am filled with uncertainty.

As humans sometimes the world tells us we must prove our importance to others and thus we will be fulfilled in feeling and appreciating our own significance in this process….and this all is a fallacy we are taught to believe for so long. It is not until we stop caring how others view us that we can be free from our own conceptions of who we should be.

I am a career driven woman. I look forward to the days where I am overworked, finances straight, and a life of people who respect the work I do. However, beyond all, what I want most is love. Without love, this would all, everything I would have worked for would mean so little. I fear the day when I feel satisfied with my academic life, yet feel that I neglected so much and so many opportunities for sheer joy forbidding myself to be loved.

What I need most is passion. I am so passionate about relationships with people and discussions. Sometimes I think the main reason I am going to practice medicine is because of the relationships I will and hope to have with my patients. Life fascinate me, and death fascinates me perhaps even more so. Connecting with someone on a deep level is what I live for.

 Trust, friendship, and respect are all important in a relationship, but what I want most is passion.  Most people would think of lustful passion…but it is more than that. Passion to me is when someone is fascinated by you, even your flaws. They have a passion for your existence and feel that your creation is a bliss to your world and a blessing. Among billions, one deserves to be loved dearly with passion and dedication. Passion derives from feelings that something is unique and a whole new level on its own. That person sees you in a light completely different that others and do their best to keep the passion alive for years.

There are many, many moments in my life where I feel joy and a voice in my head tells me to cherish these moments because soon they will be decades away. I think of myself being old often, and hope I may be able to reach such a wise age. I hope my wise age is filled with love, knowledge, health, travels, and lots of laugh. If so, I would have thousands to millions of blessings to be thankful for…but of course the beauty of life is suffering, whichever degree I must experience human suffering, all I can ask for is to be loved deeply, flaws and all. In hard times, without love, we fall.