I have been thinking lately that I need to change my mindset. Often times when we don’t see eye to eye with people, or hurt them and vice versa. We see ourselves as victims, and justify our actions with our own reasoning. I have realized that it is important to forgive others, not just for the act of forgiving, but forgiving yourself. You see often times we know we are wrong, and we can never truly forgive because in the back of our heads, despite our many justifications for why we are right, we know we are wrong too. We victimize ourselves and think we are granting our goodness when we forgive. When we forgive, we should do it because we know we are not perfect and we are victims of our own subconscious (and sometimes conscious egoes) and other people are too. Our own justifications and reasoning for our own views are not any better than others when we forgive others truthfully  we forgive ourselves and our shortcomings. 

 I usually have friends for decades and I love them but the older you grow and the more regions you travel you meet people who come from different upbringing and values than you were. It is hard when there’s misunderstandings because you literally have to place your brain into that person’s family and values. I am getting better at doing this, and part of this is because I am analyzing myself as someone who is a product of my own mind’s projections and a victim of my own mind not of other people’s actions. 

There has been a relationship or two where I have thought of letting go. They didn’t get too sour, but the misunderstanding (s) caused me so much distress that I thought it would be easier to let go. To myself, and other I made myself to be a victim. Although these were truly my emotions, I knew I was wrong. We as people are our own lawyers and will defend our own side, but to be fair and just individuals we should try to give the other person’s side some validity. 

I have decided that when I forgive I will not victimize anyone and will be more honest with myself, even if it gives me fear of who I am and what control my thoughts have taken. It is only with being honest with yourself of who you truly are, your flaws and all, that you can have truly relationships with people. 

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