I have been reprimanded by my family a lot for being so trusting of others and my friends have also told me that I need to change and not automatically assume the best of people. This approach to life has honestly worked for me fine, but these past two and a half months of living here in El Paso, I have met some people that have made me feel like perhaps I do need to change. I feel like people haven’t truly been honest about their intentions and maybe I need to stop being so trusting and maybe expect people not to be good automatically. I guess becoming jaded and having trust issues is part of getting older. That’s the beauty of being a child, that inexperience of life and unawareness of the bad side of humanity is beautiful and pure. Humans however learned  which one is the poisonous snake from the one that isn’t as a defense mechanism. As you get older and have more life experiences you develop your own mechanisms to protect yourself and your well-being. If you don’t put some barriers, people can really get to you and affect your mood and make you even question your own self worth. My friend went through a divorce and he told me how he feels unworthy of being loved again, one person made him feel completely unlovable and unworthy of someone’s affection. The only advice I have for y’all is to not let anyone define your self worth, that’s something you give to yourself and is based on what you value from your own character. Material possessions, and even relationships with others shouldn’t define the own love you have for yourself. 

So I accept that I’m becoming jaded,  it’s the course of nature. I have tried avoiding becoming like this, but I feel like I’m becoming more vulnerable so I need to stop trusting in the goodness of people’s intentions. Even though you become jaded of your perception of others, make sure you practice good deeds at all times. “Be the good you want to see in the world” -Gandhi. When you practice good intentions and harbor love for others, their walls will be put down and they will be able to trust you and have real relationships with you and other people. We are all here to have strong human personal connections, and we have to practice being good people so that others who have their guards up can see the beauty in friendship and love.